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  • Updates on Site Re-Design, Publishing around the Web

    So I seem to be becoming an expert on feminism, single momhood, survivor issues, eating disorders, grief, and money? There's a combination for you! Seriously, I need to throw some happier topics in there.   ICYMI, piece up on how to talk to a child who suspect might have an eating disorder over at sheknows this week. It's a topic that is dear to my heart not only because of my personal experience but because it is a serious disease with lifelong implications.    And then I had a piece go up this...

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  • Taking a Walk Late at Night and Street Harassment

    I think a lot. Weird statement, I know, but I’ve always lived in my head to a certain extent.   Whether it’s analyzing a relationship, or a guy, or my childhood, or my family…or thinking through the sexism underlying common insults thrown at boys, I just…think. It’s very hard for me to turn my brain off. I’ve been working on a meditation practice and thus far I can make it five minutes. I’m the girl who always skips savasanna during yoga because - lying still on a mat? I’ve got things to do!...

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  • Physical & Emotional Labor, Feminism, and Asking for Help

    This weekend I did something that's shockingly hard for me.   I asked for help.    If there's something that should be obvious, it's that I'm highly independent. For years I told myself that I could take care of everything on my own. In the past year I've *takes deep breath* Written and edited a novel, acquired, worked with freelancers and edited content for this site, finished my MBA, gone on four trips (3 to NYC, one home to Seattle), knit various articles of clothing, scarves and hats, written...

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  • The Importantance of Friendships & Galentine's Day to a Feminist

    I've got a new post up on Worthy.com today. I'd written it for Galentine's Day but it didn't go up until this week. I consider myself to be incredibly lucky in my friends - truly, truly lucky. They put up with my my doubts and insecurities and listen and offer great advice.   "It was a dear friend who pulled me aside at a birthday party and said, "Dena, I think your husband's verbally abusing you. I'm worried.""   It was a dear friend who pulled me aside at a birthday party and said, "Dena, I...

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  • Date Night Dressing in Your 30's-40's

    Dating in your late 30's ain't easy. Okay, to be honest, I've always hated dating. I'm a serial monogamist, mainly because I love the 'let's hang out on the couch in sweats, read the newspaper and drink coffee for most of Sunday morning' stage of a relationship. Seriously, one of the best mornings of my life was doing just that in an apartment in Salem, MA, with an ex. We woke up, showered, and hung out listening to NPR, reading the paper, and drinking coffee as black as the sin we'd committed the night...

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  • About that pic on Instagram...a feminist discusses body policing

                    The male gaze. We talk about it a lot in feminist circles, always with a negative connotation (for good reason). But, as I’ve written about before, it can have a different meaning for some women. Given my ultra-religious background, with its emphasis on dressing modestly so as not to tempt the men around me, I see putting on a body con dress is an act of defiance. I will not hide nor be ashamed of my body, says the skin-tight, backless black dress. It’s also a proclamation of my recovery. When...

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  • February: Lingerie, Lace and Feminism

    It's February. Ugh. Valentine's Day. Raise your hand if you hate the holiday! When you're little it's free candy and cartoon character cards. Most schools require kids to bring one for every kid in the class so no one is left out. When you're older the holiday really starts to suck. My parents divorced when I was in seventh grade and we moved across the water from Seattle to Bellevue. I was not only the new kid I was the weird kid, too. They closed the library at lunch (boo!) so I'd hide in...

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  • On Odd, Private Grief

    My second piece went up on worthy.com yesterday. It will likely make some things clearer for many of my readers. While the subject doesn't fit with this month's theme the anniversary of my mother's death is coming up so today I thought I'd talk about grief.   "What I hadn't realized about grief is that it's recurring. As your life changes and you pass different milestones you're reminded of that person's absence anew. " When I drove onto the ferry to the San Juan Islands this past November it...

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  • 2K Followers on Instagram Celebration!!!

    2K Followers on Instagram!   Thank you so much to everyone who has followed, liked, and left comments. Building a community of fabulous, feminist women is what we're all about here and it's been great getting to know you all. To say 'thank you,' we are, of course, running another contest.  Sweater by Boden, accessories by Kate Spade, boots by Hunter. Photo by Jeff Pryor.   Rules and how to enter are below; 1. A 'like' on a post labeled 'Contest' counts as an entry. 2. Tag friends of yours whom you...

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  • Buying Myself Beautiful Clothes that You Should Buy, Too

    This week we've been talking about spending money as an act of self-love, relationships with men, and goals for money for the New Year. In one of my essays I touched on how much fun I've had buying clothes since my divorce. Unless it was for him - lingerie, mainly - my ex didn't like me spending money on clothing for myself. There was always an excuse as to why he needed new clothes, however. When he found a job after a six month period of unemployment he had to have new clothes. $1,400 on...

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  • Being Gentle with Myself as a Recovering Anorexic

    Trigger warning: Eating Disorders   "You look good, Dena," my grandmother said on her way out the door, pulling back from our hug. It was the first time we'd seen each other in close to six years, a few hours that she and my grandfather had come by my sister's house on my last day home over Thanksgiving.  I smiled and said, "Thanks," but inwardly winced. In my family, "good" is code for "skinny." When they're happy with you, when you're doing what they want, you're skinny - which is the ultimate...

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  • About my birthday...

    I hate birthdays. It has nothing to do with aging, though I struggle with that, too, my hatred of birthdays began in fourth grade.   The back of my fabulous birthday outfit from this year. Yes, I went full on bling. Jacket and pants by Nanette Lepore. Photo by Jeff Pryor.

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  • Why Can't Female Artists be Jerks, too?

    I've written a lot about women, money and feminism (see links below). Let's just say that it's a subject near and dear to my heart.   Money was a constant source of strife throughout my marriage. Spending my own money after the divorce has felt incredibly liberating. Yes, I've done some damage on the credit cards and I'll need to rein it in for the beginning of 2017. But I don't regret it. Because with every dollar spent I was taking a stand for what matters to me.  Photo by Jeff Pryor.

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  • For the Love of Sweatshirts

    Is it because they let me go out in public without a bra? Is it because a comfy, soft sweatshirt is like wearing a hug? Or is it something deeper?   On our Instagram feed I've been featuring a couple of my favorites from my sweatshirt collection (I own over ten sweatshirts and counting). They're basically all I wear on the weekends for the nine months of fall/winter we get in Minnesota, and I've even sneaked some of the fancier ones into my work wardrobe. Hey, if it's got sequin birds on it,...

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  • Knitting a Sweater - Step by Step

    If you follow me on Instagram you've probably guessed by now that I'm passionate about knitting. It's a rare day that goes by without the needles in my hands. They click together in a soothing white noise while beauty takes shape. I've been a knitter for over ten years now and, as my skills have grown, so has my appreciation for beautiful, well-crafted knitwear. Oh, and I'm a yarn snob. A HUGE yarn snob. You'd be hard-pressed to find any acrylic in my closet.   Which is why I'm also picky about the...

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  • Thanksgiving Week Essays

    Yesterday's editorial letter didn't go up because I was on a ferry to the San Juan Islands. I was lucky enough to receive a week's writer's residency at the Deborah Whiteley Center at the Friday Harbor Laboratories. For the next few days I'll be working on novel revisions and a few essays, trying to bang them out when not being interrupted by a five-year-old. My son's with his Dad this week so I have the luxury of doing what I want, when I want it. It does kind of feel like I'm missing an...

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  • Costuming, Feminism, and Halloween

    In the lead up to Halloween I thought it would be fun to feature two costume themed pieces! I still need to order my son's costume (oops!), but I did buy the candy already. We'll see if it lasts until next Monday...   This week we have two essays. The first, by Sarah Stearns, examines gender and cosplay, and how her genderqueer sibling would feel more comfortable cosplaying as some of her favorite characters if items like skirts, wigs, and make-up could be divorced from gender presentation. And Joella...

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  • Raising a Feminist Son

    Ugh. Monday. Made worse by Daylight Savings and a kid who woke me up three times last night.    This month is going to be light on content from contributors for a number of reasons. First, I have some deadlines that I need to meet elsewhere for my own writing. Second, I'm going to New York at the end of the month and am trying to set up some work and career related stuff out there, which is taking a lot of my focus. Related to this I'm taking courses in SEO and digital marketing on coursera in my free...

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  • The Decision to Come Forward as a Survivor

    Hello *waves* Quick programming note if you're new to the site from some of my recent writing - please check out past articles and essays under the Topics button at the top of the page. We are currently rebuilding and relaunching the site so it's a little clunky, sorry about that, but please check back in two weeks when we expect to have it all updated and pretty *G*  Now, onto today's post. TW: Rape.   Today is an honesty day, a rip off the bandage and put it all out there day. Why? Because this...

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  • 1K Followers on Instagram! Thank you!

    Happy Monday and welcome to another week. I think most of us are still struggling to recover from last week's events (I know I am), and could a little 'pick me up.'  I spent some time engaging in self-care this weekend (new haircolor, anyone?) but also dreaming up ways to celebrate hitting 1K followers on Instagram. As bright a blue as I could get in my hair!  

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  • VOTE

    Normally,on Monday's I'd post my editorial letter for the week, teasing and introducing upcoming essays and contributors. But today, while we do have a great week lined up, I'm going to take a break from our usual schedule and post about the election.   Oh, you know which one, even if you're not one of our American readers.   This election, more than any other I can remember, has brought up the division and hatred in our country. I have heard my friends, family, and contributors belittled and...

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  • Art vs. Craft and the Gender Divide

    Welcome back to another week!   We've been talking a lot about labor and the women who make your garments. This week we're examining the distinction between art and craft and how it breaks down on gender lines in Greta Christina's essay Art vs. Craft. If you've been thinking you want to shop more ethically but aren't sure how to start check out Africa Jackson's piece Fashion Activism: A Beginner's Guide on Thursday. We've been pinning to some of our favorite ethical brands on Pinterest if you...

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  • Shopping Small, Shopping Ethically, and this Week's Essays

    This weekend I began the great closet seasonal switch. You know the one - packing away the tank tops and shorts, pulling out the sweaters from last year, do these pants still fit? Oh, thank God, they do! It's a chore, but it's also fun to re-discover all the cute clothes in my wardrobe that I'd forgotten about - like the striped skater dress from Anthropologie that I picked up at the end of season on clearance last year.    Racks of beautiful clothes and prints at Darling NYC. Photo by Jeff...

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  • What are your wishes for the New Year?

    I've never been great with resolutions, though I am a goal-setter. I write down my goals, calculate percentages in spreadsheets and formulate plans. This year one of my goals is to grow my freelance writing business by ten percent a month. It's a small but doable goal. I'd been hitting it Sept-November in 2016 but in December and after the election everything tanked (go figure). At the Japanese Tea Garden in Seattle, wishing on a lucky carp. Photo by Jeff Pryor.   I come from a long line of...

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  • Do We Denigrate Fashion Because of Its Ties with Women's Work?

    Hello Femme Feminists! And welcome to our second month…thank you to everyone who's been stopping by, reading, and sharing our essays. We truly appreciate your support. Ever since I lived in Massachusetts fall has been one of my favorite seasons. There’s something about that crisp air, the smell of apple cider, and leaves crunching under your feet. Now that I’m a knitter I love the season even more – it’s the perfect time to show off my gorgeous hand knits!   "Do We Denigrate Fashion Because Of Its...

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